There is a fine line between lots of things ....
Love and Hate
Genius and Insanity
Confidence and Arrogance
Clever and Corny Bravery and Stupidity
Over the past several weeks, I've been gearing up & training for my Project Athena adventure.
I am super duper proud of myself for dreaming BIG and choosing things which continue to challenge, frighten, and excite me.
When I was sidelined from surgery and chemo treatment, my remedy for worrying about 'tomorrow' was to put pen to paper and plan my future. I planned all sorts of things. The common theme for any and all was that I had to move! The very thing that HURT the most in my life (that "C" thAng) help to BIRTH the lifeline I cling to today.
"The Keep It Moving" mission has given me a platform from which to inspire. I want others going "through" (and by the way your 'through' may or may not be cancer) to know that dark days give way to light eventually. Hang on!
DREAM BIG even when you can't see past hurt, pain.
My TOP SHELF TIPPY TOE DREAMS have had pushed me across 4 triathlon finish lines, biked/kayed 130+ish miles over 3 days in Florida, started a blog, and more. You may have to stand on your tippy toes to reach the goal way up there on the top shelf. From the ground, it looks way too high - too lofty. You may have to stretch past some circumstances to get to it. When you're broken and bent, it's tough see upward. Continue to stretch, stretch, stretch and reach for it!
This year, my top shelf tippy toe dream is to Mountain Bike, Kayak, and Hike my way up, over, through, and around the mountains and oceans of Santa Barbarba, CA with Project Athena family. We're going to be at for 24-30 hours straight.
Training last week - I finished my longest bike ride to date last week like 45ish Miles! The first 25 miles I did with Kevin's company. The second half I was left to my own thoughts. There's quite a bit you can tell yourself on those long rides. I told myself how proud I was of me. I reminded myself that it was such a blessing to be able to keep riding and pushing. I had time to pray and have a little talk with Jesus.
When I made it home, I was ELATED that I managed to feel well. Took this pic to prove that I made it with a some what kind of almost little bitty smile. No migraines (which as of late have seemed to be induced with activity).
There is a fine line between feeling totally accomplished and totally exhausted .... and this here LOOK is IT!@
Next day, I made it up the BIG staircase after church Sunday. Legs were still A-Ok! Hey, Hey. Hey!
Then, It came .....
WHAM!! Monday morning the migraine that would not go away HIT and HIT HARD. It lingered all week! It swiped me of energy. It robbed me of a good training week. It was throwing serious mental and body blows. Pow
I had a big weekend lined up for training -- 13 mile Kayak and 6-7 hour hike with my friend Trish. It's been on the calendar for weeks. I went to bed last night with a migraine still telling myself that I was going to try to do this kayak today. At 6am - I sent a text to my friend Trish and said "I have to sit this one out.".
The FINE LINE starts here .
Truthfully, it's hard for me. It's tough to STOP - SLOW DOWN - REST. When your strength and ability to 'do' is taken from you, the determination to not stop can be much stronger than the need to rest. I feel like I owe it to myself, to my thriving sisters to tackle challenges with gust-o.
There's a fine line between the need to 'do' and the need to replenish.
Last night, I posted a quick message to facebook. Several friends quickly reminded me of the importance of R E S T. I often dole out the very same advice to others but rarely take heed myself.
I do slow down and smell the roses. I appreciate this life. But, resting means sit - be quiet. I felt that slowing down enough to appreciate the day and smell the roses was sufficient. Slowing to a crawl isn't a rest. It's a crawl. So, today I've taken the advice of many and I'm choosing rest.
Because I can't just rest (pathetic as it is) - I've called this my PLANNING day ... Just like days of old when my plans were a lifeline .... I'll look to this day of rest and planning to give more than it takes away.
Hopefully, I'll be stronger and ready to tackle those top shelf tippy toe dreams.
Stay Hungry - Stay Foolish (and Keep it moving) ~~~ CC
